Van Stanwyck

You mean it wasn't an unexplained act of a vengeful god who hates the Blues?!

I entreat all to use the enormous Eartha power of this gif only for good. #TCMParty #StLouisBlues

NEXT WEEK: #TheNoirCollective robs the noir cradle and puts Betty Grable, Victor Mature and Laird Cregar on the Hot Spot. June 10 at 8 PM ET/5 PM PT, watch screwball plunge into the inky depths of noir in I WAKE UP SCREAMING (1941), hosted by yours truly. Roast under the bright lights with us!

I feel you on that. I have scoured video sites, hell, I've ripped my own physical media just to make a 10 second gif one particularly important line or facial expression.

Orson Welles makes resolution junkies out of us all, and bless him for it. 😍 #TheLadyfromShanghai #TheNoirCollective

Sisters to the very end! #TCMParty #GentlemenPreferBlondes

This is why we rewatch movies at least a million and one times.

You called?

#TCMParty #PlayMistyForMe

#TCMParty #Klute

That is amazing. We have to throw a birthday party! #TCMPartyBirthdayParty

9 minutes out:

Rocket ships to the moon a la Méliès? #TCMParty #MadameSatan #MadamSatan

A little gif love for the now-eclipsed Trixie. #TCMParty #MadameSatan #MadamSatan

Electrifying modern machinery number. Fritz Lang, eat your heart out. #TCMParty #MadameSatan #MadamSatan

Just a couple of bros undressing each other in the shower, you know how we do. #TCMParty #MadameSatan

If you're recording tomorrow's early morning showing of #MadameSatan or catching it On Demand and want to glory in its excesses at a #TCMParty instead of alone or in the company of baffled members of your household, take the elevator up to the Zeppelin on Sunday, 5/31, at Noon ET/9 AM PT.

Iconic #CufflinksofNoir moment. They're G's for Gutman. #TCMParty #TheMalteseFalcon

Congratulations! The internets tell me that 14 years is the ivory anniversary with dahlia as the flower. I wouldn't make a present of the former, but the latter is perfect for you. Happy Anniversary!

I get it. Organizing a watch party for Good Will Hunting or Dogma is easy. A watch party for a movie that ranks with Ishtar as an icon of cinematic failure is a more perverse proposition. Why sit through it at all? Does it even get to the stage of so-bad-it's-good? How high are we talking here?

Which is airing on #TCM this month, btw. Actual footage of me reading the schedule:

DVR Alert! MADAME SATAN (1930) is playing on TCM for the first time in ages this Sunday, 5/31, at 6AM. Cecil B. DeMille as bizarro Lubitsch directs the most absurd get-my-man-back plot of all time culminating in a bonkers masquerade ball on a Zeppelin airship. All aboard! #TCMParty #MadameSatan

Right, and sometimes there's no symbolic indicator at all. The scene in The Prowler, for example, where one second Webb is looking at rocks with his partner, the next he's reclining on a couch with Susan sans jacket and tie. They just had sex, and now she's primed for to fall for his scheming.

Autogyro hell yeah #ItHappenedOneNight #TCMParty

At last, a gif of this scene long enough to be worthy of Claudette Colbert's leg. #ItHappenedOneNight #TCMParty

D'aww... #ItHappenedOneNight #TCMParty

With a side of steak slapping. #ItHappenedOneNight #TCMParty

When William Powell turns on the gentleman thief charm: #TCMParty #TheLastofMrsCheyney

This whole scene in Belle of the Nineties consists of Mae standing in a skin-tight gown against different backdrops serving hips, nips and face for days while the audience goes wild. It is perfection. The complete bat:

Iconic film: The House on Haunted Hill (1959) Iconic star: Vincent Price Iconic architecture: Ennis House, 1925 Los Angeles landmark built in Mayan Revival style by Frank Lloyd Wright

Report: The two feeds set to refresh every 15 seconds behaved functionally identically in columns on deck(dot)blue. #TheNoirCollective was occasionally just a tad slower, like a new post loading after 30 seconds instead of 15.

Milady Lana Turner's hats in #TheThreeMusketeers are the best use of ostrich feathers since Ginger Rogers' dress in Top Hat. #TCMParty

Ordered. Me going to my mailbox next Saturday.

You never know when this'll come in handy.

Is it comme il faut to reply to oneself on social media? Oh well, needs must. #TCMParty #TheBestYearsofOurLives

And then Ben was all "jk, I know y'all watch 10 a week."

Oh right, good point. I'm going to need a beverage to go with my deviled egg & tuna. Garçonne, I'll have what Lana's having:

I looked long and hard for a molten orange gold color like that to bring some sunshine onto my basement walls and it was incredibly difficult. What a miracle that it exists in rose form.

Another one that might come in handy. #TCMParty #BabyFace

Let it never be said that I came to a #TCMParty without bringing a handmade GIFt. #BabyFace

Persuasion (1995), avoid the 2022 one at all costs. The Red Violin (1998), Ars longa, vita brevis in movie form, with the added bonus of extreme closeups of Samuel L. Jackson being moved to tears Not a movie, but The Brokenwood Mysteries, all 12 seasons on a damn loop.

Behold, Thelma Ritter uttering a cri de cœur for our times as well as hers. #TheNoirCollective #PickuponSouthStreet

Nothing but respect for that choice.

Another GIFt to the #TCMParty #TheStrangeLoveofMarthaIvers #NoirAlley

Because I am kind and generous and not at all acting in my own obsessive self-interest, I have made a gif of the extreme hotness of that thing he does with the coin. #NoirAlley #TheStrangeLoveOfMarthaIvers #TCMParty

If the TV's on, #TCM is playing. I had to buy an absurd, offensive and extortionate sports (ugh) package to keep TCM when the contracts changed a few years ago, and I did not hesitate for even a second. I would gladly shitcan every single other channel of the hundreds I'm saddled with, but TCM?

It's the beanie, isn't it? There's only so much of that pointy nipple at the top a person can take.

#InternationalHouse #TCMParty