Jonathan Ellis

BIG BRUNSON REED SIMPLY CANNOT BE STOPPED KNICKS FINNA DO WHAT EVERTON COULDN’T AND RELEGATE SPURS (or the Thunder I suppose)

YOU SIMPLY CANNOT STOP THE TSUUUUUUUUUNAMI #BigBrunsonReed

Cavs getting caved by a TSUUUUUUUUUUNAMI

WERE YA EXPECTING ANYONE ELSE, MELVINS??? BARZY’S GOT COMPANY IN THE CALDER KID CLUB BECAUSE HE IS HIM AND HIM IS HE AND HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE’S…MATT SCHAEFER

GET THOSE OTHER MELVINS OUT OF THE GOTDANG WAY BARZY ABOUT TO HAVE SOME CALDER KID COMPANY BECAUSE HE IS HIM AND HIM IS HE AND HEEEEEEEEEEEE’S…MATT SCHAEFER

Hawks got caved by a TSUUUUUUUUUNAMI #JalenBrunsonReed

RITCHIE THE DRAGON STEAMBOAT

HEINE HEINE HEINE HEINE HEINE HEINE HEINE HEINE MAN

BACK IN FRONT, MELVINS GOD I LOVE IT WHEN HE DOES THAT THING AGAINST THIS TEAM BECAUSE HE IS HIM AND HIM IS HE AND HEEEEEEEEEEEEEE’S…MATT SCHAEFER

LET ME GET MY MEMES OUT BEFORE THEY GET A SIXTH

HEINE HEINE HEINE HEINEMAN + HE SWERVES WHEN HE DEKES

RITCHIE THE DRAGON STEAMBOAT DOUBLING THE LEAD ON THESE MELVINS THE KIDS ARE QUITE ALRIGHT INDEED BECAUSE HE IS HIM AND HIM IS HE AND HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE’S…MATT SCHAEFER

NO LATE EQUALIZER TODAY, MELVINS IT’S TIME TO AFFIRM OUR STATUS IN THE PLAYOFFS BECAUSE HE IS HIM AND HIM IS HE AND HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE’S…MATT SCHAEFER

I’M STUCK IN THE OFFICE WITH MELVINS BUT I’M STILL HAVING A BETTER TIME THAN THE CALDER KID’S ADVERSARIES BECAUSE HE IS HIM AND HIM IS HE AND HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE’S…MATT SCHAEFER

LAST TIME THEY PLAYED THE LEAFS, HE SHOWED THEM THE MELVINS THAT THEY ARE THIS TIME, MAYBE HE’LL DO THE SAME IN REGULATION BECAUSE HE IS HIM AND HIM IS HE AND HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE’S…MATT SCHAEFER

Moral of the story: Never count the 25-26 New York Islanders out. Especially when they take it to the extra frame.

BASK IN HIS FUCKING GLORY FOR THIS DUB. IS. LIMITLESSSSSSSS 💙🧡💙🧡💙🧡

I’M NOT GETTING BAMBOOZLED BY ESPN THIS TIME, MELVINS TO SHOW THE POWER OF THE NEW YORK ISLANDERS HE SAWED THIS LEAD IN HALF BECAUSE HE IS HIM AND HIM IS HE AND HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE’S…MATT SCHAEFER

THE GWG, MELVIN YES I AM POSTING ABOUT IT AGAIN BECAUSE HE IS HIM AND HIM IS HE AND HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE’S…MATT SCHAEFER

HE WAS SAVING THE BEST FOR LAST, MELVIN AIN’T NO GOAL LIKE AN OVERTIME GOAL, BABY AND AIN’T NO BETTER SCORER THAN THE CALDER HEIR APPARENT BECAUSE HIM IS HE AND HIM IS HE AND HEEEEEEEEEEEEEE’S…MATT SCHAEFER

BASK IN HIS GLORY FOR THIS GAME IS LIMITLESS

OUR DEFENSEMAN CAN SCORE TWICE TOO, YA MELVINS GOALS BEING SCORED TWO BY TWO TONIGHT, BUT HIS TWO ARE RECORD-BREAKERS BECAUSE HE IS HIM AND HIM IS HE AND HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE’S…MATT SCHAEFER

I’d feel more dejected by this if MY CLIENT, BRRRRRRRROCK NNNNNNNNNELSON, DIDN’T CONQUER THE GERMANS

WREX IPSWICH AND LEAVE

MELVINS LIKE THEM DON’T GET SAVED THE BELL PENS COMMITTED THEIR NAMESAKE AND THEY JUST PAID THE PIPER BECAUSE HE IS HIM AND HIM IS HE AND HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE’S…MATT SCHEFER

KID’S DRAGGING THOSE MELVINS BUT GOOD MAY ALL WHO OPPOSE HIM FADE AWAY AND CLASSIFY THEMSELVES AS OBSOLETE BECAUSE HE IS HIM AND HIM IS HE AND HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE’S…MATT SCHAEFER

While I conjure a gimmick for Soucy, THE RANGERS CONTINUE TO BE MELVINS THIS IS ONE TIME WHERE THE SEQUEL FEELS JUST AS GOOD AS THE ORIGINAL BECAUSE HE IS HIM AND HIM IS HE AND HEEEEEEEEEEE’S…MATT SCHAEFER

ONDREJ THE GIANT INDEED

GOOD MORNING MELVIN WEST COAST GAMES ARE HARD BUT WAKING UP TO THE KID GETTING THE LAST LOL IS EASY BECAUSE HE IS HIM AND HIM IS HE AND HEEEEEEEEEEEEEE’S…MATT SCHAEFER

NOBODY BREAKS THE RYAN PULOCK

Not sure whether to 🥁 or 🍅…

CTE IS FOR MELVINS I WAS FRIGHTENED, YOU WAS FRIGHTENED, COLLECTIVELY WE WAS FRIGHTENED BUT THE KID GOT UP AND POTTED ANOTHER ONE BECAUSE HE IS HIM AND HIM IS HE AND HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE’S…MATT SCHAEFER

😱 but also 👏🏾 but also 😱

I UNDERSTAND THAT CHRISTIAN PULISIC HAD THE EQUALIZER BUT HIS EQUALIZER IS DEAD

WILLST DU BIS DER TOD EUCH SCHEIDET HOW MANY GOALS SCORED ON LONG ISLAND

WHOOP HAT TRICK (WHAT) WHOOP HAT TRICK (YEAH) WHOOP HAT TRICK (UH-HUH) WHOOP HAT TRICK (I LIKE IT)

Okay, first off: Matty Barz just ✨ DELETING ✨ Knies on that spin-o feed. Second: GET OFF OUR ICE, YA MAPLE MELVINS SORRY, STEVE DANGLE, BUT THE FACT OF THE MATTER IS THAT HE IS HIM AND HIM IS HE AND HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE’S…MATT SCHAEFER

WE HAVE A NEW GAME, MELVINS THIS IS WHY MARCHMENT GOT SALTY WITH HIM A LITTLE WHILE AGO BECAUSE HE IS HIM AND HIM IS HE AND HEEEEEEEEE’S…MATT SCHAEFER

THE NEW YORK SIRENS VANQUISH THE MONTREAL MELVINS SHOUTOUT TO ANNA BARGMAN WHOSE APTLY-TIMED SCORING ABILITIES REMIND ME OF ANOTHER ROOKIE I KNOW HE IS HIM AND HIM IS HE AND HEEEEEEEEEEE’S…MATT SCHAEFER

Me to mononucleosis:

BO-LIEVE IN THIS, YA GOLDEN MELVINS HOCKEY STICKS AND MARK STONES WON’T BREAK THE KID’S BONES BECAUSE HE IS HIM AND HIM IS HE AND HEEEEEEEEE’S…MATT SCHAEFER

RYAN IS NO LONGER SKATING WITH MELVINS HE NOW SKATES WITH TRUE KINGS SPECIFICALLY, ONE TRUE KING IN PARTICULAR BECAUSE HE IS HIM AND HIM IS HE AND HEEEEEEEEEE’S…MATT SCHAEFER

THE DNA OF THE NHLPA MATT MARTIN

HBD kemosabe!

THE UTAH MAMMOTH ARE MELVINS MAY THEY FIND SOLACE IN THEIR LOSER POINT BECAUSE HE IS HIM AND HIM IS HE AND HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE’S…MATT SCHAEFER

*taps sign*