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Scarred For Life

@scarredforlife

Enjoy this montage of televisual nuclear anxiety from the 1980s, soundtracked by The Dubliners' protest song 'Protect and Survive'. Special guest appearance by the Patron Saint of Nuclear War at the end, there. "'Ad it, inya?"

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RED TRAFFIC SIGN: MUST NOT (1974) Some public information films were like mini-movies. And some just got straight to the point, like this five second beast. Must not. Must not. MUST NOT.

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DOOR CHAIN (1976): A PIF which dares to ask the question, 'did Aunt Annie or a Rasputin-looking axeman politely ring your doorbell?' This one was in rotation for so long that, for me, it's forever entwined with ITV Night Time shows of the late 80s and early 90s!

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STARTING OUT (1986): I've a real soft spot for gritty Schools and Colleges dramas, and series 5 of this long-running ITV show featured domestic abuse, rape, glue-sniffing, racism and police harassment (and most of those are in the title sequence!). Oh, and a porn mag at the start! For kids, etc etc

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Following in the footsteps of Watership Down and The Plague Dogs, THE ANIMALS OF FARTHING WOOD (1993) traumatised a generation of children. A grand tally of 20-odd onscreen deaths included baby mice impaled on a tree. At 4.30 in the afternoon, kids!

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H.R. Giger finally got to use his astonishing design for Baron Harkonnen's castle (from Alejandro Jodorowsky's cancelled Dune film) in this 1985 ad for Pioneer. Cor, what we could have had...

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The differences between SCIENCE NINJA TEAM GATCHAMAN (1972) and its child-friendly American version, BATTLE OF THE PLANETS (1978) are stark indeed. In this Gatchman scene, missing from BotP, team leader Ken gives a bad guy a good hiding. I counted eighteen punches. Eighteen!

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The second series of brilliant kids' supernatural anthology SHADOWS (1976) had one of the spookiest title sequences ever. It still blows my mind that Toast of Tinseltown did a direct homage for its titles. Talk about a deep cut. Knows his stuff, does Matt Berry!

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VOTER LIST (1974): Important information for today. Check the list!

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TIDY UP AT NIGHT (1969): There's a lovely Terrytoons aesthetic throughout this PIF from a bygone era. It jolts me to think that most of these things would have applied to our house when I was a kid. God, I'm old. See how much of this Adult Bod's bedtime routine applies to you...

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